Good News!

Hello everyone,

Don't know much yet. Kecia finished the last of her scans and testing this afternoon. She sounded great on the phone. Very upbeat and feeling pretty good physically. She won't get the results until next week, but she did say that when they were doing the sonogram on her breast they tech couldn't find the cancer! She kept asking Kecia "now where is the mass"? She did eventually find the dark spot but it was much thinner and less dense than the last time it was done. Her platelet counts are up to 90! Can you believe that! Kecia is so relieved by all this and feels very hopeful about the results to come. YEAH! We love good news! Have a great weekend and don't forget to give credit (and thanks) where it is due!!!! We love ya'll Jen and family

Chapter 5: See ya Later

I would venture to guess that most people, both Christians and non-Christians, have an opinion as to why bad things happen. Most don’t actually put a lot of thought into it until something devastating happens to them or a loved one. But when it does, the need to understand it becomes overwhelming.
Some believe the “heaven/hell on earth” theory, which stands on the notion that good people are rewarded with a good life, and bad people receive a “hell on earth” kind of life. But I only have to think of all the children who are abused at the hands of their parents to know that theory isn’t right. What could a 3 month old have possibly done to deserve their “hell on earth” before they were sent to the E.R. with deadly injuries. Most of us know someone who is not such a good person, or maybe even a really bad person, but good things keep happening for them. And who doesn’t know a great person who has had their life torn apart by some kind of tragedy or loss?
Others believe in (what I think is called) predestination. That is the idea that, at the beginning of time, God planned out every single thing that would happen on this earth and that nothing we can do could change the outcome. If true, it would mean that we don’t actually have free will and that we aren’t really accountable for the choices that we make. It would mean that God did choose to give Kecia cancer and that He kept her from finding out about it until it was in the 4th and final stage for a reason that He has not revealed to us yet. Now, I believe that God does intervene on our behalf sometimes for a specific purpose because I know that there are a lot of things that happen in life that we initially think are bad, but God later reveals to us that He has been in control all along and that what happened was in our best interest. Like buying a house, for example. We might want it REALLY bad, and even though we are praying for God’s will, we are really saying “I want this house, please give it to me.” We feel so sad and let down when things don’t work out, but then the layoffs start coming at work and we realize that getting that house would have meant putting our family in huge financial jeopardy. Suddenly, we are thankful that we can afford the house we have with only one income and we see that God really did know what was best. We’re just lucky he didn’t give us what we were begging for. But, if we didn’t have free will then it would mean that it was God who made a man stop at a bar, drink way too much and then get behind the wheel of his car and kill a father of 4 as he headed home from work. (This is probably a good place for me to remind all of you that I am NOT a Biblical scholar and that I know I am not an authority on the subject to which I am writing. This is merely my understanding of the Bible and my explanation to you based on my relationship with God.) I don’t believe that God makes people cheat on their spouses so that they can learn some great lesson or that every person sitting in jail is there because God made him do something unlawful to fulfill God’s greater purpose. People do bad things because we are all sinful by nature. We all do things to one degree or another that are self serving but we have choices every single day that lead us either closer to or farther away from being a godly person. God doesn’t have to make us sin. We do it so naturally on our own. The Bible is full of God’s commandments for us and He instructs us quite clearly on how we are to live a godly life. How silly it would be for Him to give us a list of rules if He had already scripted our lives out to include sinful acts that we could not avoid because he was the puppeteer and we were merely puppets on a string. No, this makes no sense to me.
By now, you are either very angry with me for disagreeing with your theory or you wish I would just hurry up and tell you what I think on the subject. Either way, I appreciate you sticking with me this long. I do tend to be long winded. (Kecia hates that about me) What I discussed with Kecia was this:God is a loving god. Not a sparrow falls to the ground that He doesn’t know and care about. Life was, at one time, perfect. Unfortunately, when we were given free will, that meant we always had the choice to sin. Eventually we all do. When sin entered the world so did suffering. God promised that there would be sadness, sickness, disappointment, hurt, loss, toil, and death because of it. Christians are not immune to the effects of sin in the world. We are guaranteed to suffer from it just as everyone else does. We don’t all suffer the same things but have you ever met someone that has NEVER had some of these things happen to him? I don’t believe God made my mother get Alzheimer’s disease or Kecia get cancer. He doesn’t plan for little girls to be molested by their fathers or high-jackers to take the lives of hundreds of people. I believe the effects of sin break His heart. I believe He is saddened and sickened by so much of what happens here on Earth. He never promised that as Christians He would save us from all the pain and sorrow, but He did promise that He would be there for us every step of the way. He would walk beside us, giving strength, offering hope, sending help, providing comfort. He doesn’t promise to intervene with a miracle or answer all of our prayers the way we want them to be answered. But he does promise that once our lives here on Earth have ended, He will take us to be with Him eternally in paradise where there will be no pain, sickness, sadness or death. I don’t believe God “makes” bad things happen to us just so we can serve His greater purpose, but I do believe that He will use every opportunity, even the bad ones, for good if we give it over to Him. I know that, just like Grandad, God grieves to see Kecia in pain. I don’t know if He will grant Kecia complete healing or not. That is what I pray for everyday, and I will continue to do so because the Bible tells us to “make our requests known to God”. I tend to believe that He will since He has already provided several miracles in Kecia’s recovery so far. We will just have to keep praying and believing. But I am comforted to know, that when we leave this earth, whether it be tonight, or when we are old and grey, it will not be “good-bye”. It will just be “see ya later”.

Update 2/22/2009

A few weeks ago Kecia told her mom "you know your life is really boring when finding that your favorite snuggly socks are clean and ready to wear again makes you SO happy." If nothing else, Kecia certainly doesn't take the little things for granted anymore!
After being stuck in bed for so many weeks, our girl is finally getting that much needed break. She has had 4 really good days so far. Thursday she and her mom stopped by our house between two doctor visits. She read books to my two little ones and watched the other two perform shows on the trampoline. It was a beautiful day so we sat outside a little and took in some rays. It's amazing how we take for granted a little thing like enjoying the feel of sunshine on our faces. Friday Kecia stayed in and watched a movie with her boyfriend and Saturday afternoon she and Jeanie joined some friends out at our place for dinner. She made it to church this morning and is now at home resting after her busy week.
She is scheduled to have the complete set of scans done next week. She will do them Tue, Wed and Thurs. She hopes to get the results on Friday but they may make her wait until Monday. She is very excited. Each time she has gotten scans they have shown positive results which is a HUGE pick up for Kecia. It makes all those days spent in bed or by the toilet worth it. She is, however, a little apprehensive since it will have been 8 weeks since her last treatment of the "real" chemo. She has had several of the "stabilizing" Herceptin, but none of the "cancer killer" that I can't remember the name of. She is anxious to see if the cancer is still shrinking or if not having that chemo for so long has given it a chance to grow back.

We are so grateful for the past few days that Kecia has had the opportunity to get out of her bed and enjoy the simple things in life. She has color in her cheeks and her face just looks like she feels better. It was so great to see her smile. Thank you for your prayers on that matter. Now we can concentrate our prayers on the scans! So glad you have chosen to take this journey with us.

Donate Blood for Kecia!

We are able to help Kecia financially by donating blood. I will give the directions below.

Kecia uses a lot of blood and platelets during chemo which incurs a large bill. We can help by donating blood and or platelets at Carter BloodCare. They will "credit" Kecia's "blood account" with our blood for one year and that will be used to pay her co-pay for the transfusion. Here's what to do:

1. Go to Carter Blood Care and tell them you want to make a Replacement Credit with your donation.

2. Fill out a Plan Designation Form
You will need to know this info on Kecia:
Name: Kecia Rezaie
Account Number: SPON 047082
Hospital: McKinney Medical Center

3. If there are any problems let them know we spoke with Beverly Johnson at (817) 412-5125.

Thank You all for everything you do to support Kecia. She would like to thank everyone personally but I won't let her because that's my job right now. So THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF HER HEART!!!

Kecia update 02/18/09

***Forgot to add: I thought you might all be encouraged to know that Kecia's uncle Eric (with pancreatitis) has gone 7 days without drinking any alcohol! If you knew him, you would know how absolutely AMAZING that is. We are all very suprised, but pleased. Praise God! Thank you all for your prayers! They are working! Jen


After many weeks of sickness Kecia finally had a good day yesterday. She was out of bed and spent several hours catching up on work. It was a much needed break from the mental stress that comes from being sick. She has had an unidentified rash for about a week that they finally determined was a reaction to one of her new medications that was treating her port infection. They are taking care of that with daily benedryl drips at the infusion center and an oral med at home. She started a new medication this morning that they immediately realized was not going to work for her as it made her very jittery and shaky. She won't be taking that again so once it is out of her system she should be okay. She has not been nauseated for a couple of days now which is a HUGE answer to prayer.
I have a meeting with one of our former professors tomorrow (we meet monthly as he is our mentor in the counseling field). Kecia has not been able to attend for a long time and is really wanting to make it tomorrow afternoon. It is a time when we discuss our client load, new ideas for treatment, and our plans for the future. Kecia and I still plan on opening a Christian based private practice once she is healthy and back on her feet. We'd like to start by working with at-risk youth and foster children using equine therapy on a working ranch. Eventually we would like to have a cancer outreach program and family therapy as well. Talking about our dreams and actually making plans really energizes both of us. Kecia finds it so refreshing to focus on "life a year from now" instead of "life with cancer" for a few hours. For that reason, I am praying that God will bless Kecia with another few days of good health so that she can make the meeting and remind herself of yet one more reason that this is all worth the fight.

Kecia Update

Hello prayer warriors,
As you know Kecia has not had the strong chemo for 6 weeks now. Between sickness, low counts, and her port, she has just been unable to get it. I thought this would be good in the sense that her body would have some time to "recoop" and she would have a chance to feel good and be "normal" for a few days. Unfortunatly, she is not feeling well at all. She has basically been in bed for 6 weeks. When I stopped by today she was ill again and looked to be very miserable. She is hardly able to hold anything down which ends up leaving her even more weak and tired. For anyone who has ever been sick for more than a day or two you know how tired you get of being sick...laying around..doing nothing..and feeling bad all over. You can imagine then that after weeks of this, she feels like she just can't take much more of this mentally. She needs a few days to just get her mental and physical strength back. She really needs our prayers in this matter. EVERY SINGLE time we have taken this need to the Lord, He has come through for her. Please join me tonight in lifting this request up so that she can get a few days of needed reprieve.

I am so thankful that I can turn to each of you and know that we are loved and prayed for.
In Him,
Jennifer and Family

Chapter 4 - Abandonment

I think it would be fair to say that we come from a long line of strength. My mom (Kecia’s Grandmother) lived most of her life in crippling pain. She suffered everyday with symptoms that would send most people running to the doctor. After years of testing without ever finding the cause of her pain, mom just stopped looking. She accepted what she could not change and moved forward with little complaint. While it may have stopped her from ever fully enjoying life, it did not stop her from fulfilling her every obligation...to her family, to her friends, and to her church. When she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease it devastated our family. How could God let such a horrible thing happen to one of His most faithful servants? She had suffered so much in life. Didn’t she at least deserve to have a dignified death? Anyone who knows of Alzheimer’s knows it is anything but dignified. My father, her husband of 47 years, cared for her the entire 10 long years of her decline. She died at home surrounded by family. Kecia, her mom, and I cried together for hours. We cried for the women my mom had been in life and for the way she had died. We cried for the grandmother that my children would never know and for all the wonderful moments she would miss with them. We cried because we missed her…because you are never too old to need your mom. But most of all we cried for what seemed to be so unjust. My dad didn’t cry that night…at least not while we were there. Instead he handled all the business. Calling hospice, filling out papers, standing at her side as the coroners did their thing. When everyone had gone he gave us each a hug and reminded us that we needn’t feel sad for mom anymore because she was basking in the glory of God; free from pain, free of dementia and finally whole again. He said what we already knew, that for Christians death is not “good-bye” it’s just “see ya later”. So while we were down here mourning her loss, she was in Heaven helping to prepare a place for us. We started joking about how she was probably already in God’s kitchen singing as she baked everyone cookies and that the angels would be saying “why didn’t you bring her home sooner?” In the weeks that followed her death, my dad said there were times when he would see something, like her coffee cup, or her old tattered Bible and he would cry…for just a minute. It wouldn’t be like him to break down and wallow in self pity. It just isn’t his style. My parents are people of strong faith, and watching them I know it is true that “we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us”. Anyone who has met my dad knows that he is a strong man. He doesn’t have to say much to get his point across. ( he scared many young men during our teenage dating years). It is for that reason that I was so deeply moved by a phone call I received from him in the early weeks after Kecia’s diagnosis. He had driven Kecia and her mom to the hospital for one of Kecia’s surgeries. It involved drilling small holes into her spine. Several of her vertebrae had been weakened by the cancer that had eaten them away from the inside out so her doctors hollowed them out and filled them with a cement- like substance. It was a day surgery so once she was stable they loaded her up with pain meds and sent her home. My dad had called to tell me how the surgery had gone and to update me on Kecia’s condition. He said she had done well and then his voice began to shake. He relayed to me that when they put her in the car she was still very groggy from the anesthesia so they laid her down in the back seat to rest. Dad and Jeanie were talking softly so as not to disturb her when he heard a tiny, child-like voice from the backseat ask “Grandad, why doesn’t God like me?” That was the first time I have ever heard my dad cry. We sobbed together that day. He said it was hard to watch his grandchild suffer. He hated that he could only stand by and watch as she dealt with the pain and fear that comes with Cancer. But what brought him to tears that day was the realization that Kecia thought, in her greatest time of need, the one who loved her the most had turned His back on her. She thought that God had sent her this terrible disease and then abandoned her at her weakest moment. It was at that moment that Dad understood how terribly alone and frightened she must feel. He began to explain that God had promised to be with her every step of the way if she would allow Him too, but as quickly as she had asked the question, she was asleep again. That conversation would have to wait. Kecia had made it through the first two physical hurdles in her battle with Cancer, but the spiritual battle had only just begun.

Update on Kecia

When she returned home from the hospital Kecia was feeling pretty good and looking forward to a Saturday evening dinner with our whole family and some friends. Unfortunatly, by Friday evening she was not feeling well and her port was giving her some trouble. Saturday she was feeling so bad that we cancelled the get-together. As you know, her uncle Eric who lives with them has been in and out of the hospital in "near death" condition all weekend. This, along with other things, keeps the house in constant termoil and I have no doubt this drama is affecting her physically and emotionally in a negative way. We know that stress plays a role in hindering recovery. Kecia worries about the family's health, finances, and emotional state constantly. For this reason, we are strongly encouraging her to move in with her Grandad for awhile. He lives only a few miles from her pa rents so she would still be close, but it would remove her from the "front lines" of everyone else's issues. She is hesitant to do so because she worries about not being there to "take care of everyone". She also fears being a burden on Grandad. He, of course, would love to have her. His home is neat, quiet and peaceful. What better place to pamper oneself while recooperating on the path to full recovery? She has promised to give it serious consideration over the next few days.

You may remember that the doctors had left the lines in her port so she could give herself antibiotic drips while she was at home over the weekend. While getting out of bed today she stumbled and fell. In doing so, her arm caught one of the lines which almost pulled it from the port. It was already sore, so this only added to her discomfort. She doesn't think serious damage was done to the port but it has started swelling and stings when the medicine drips in. She will see her doctor first thing tomorrow and they will decide how to proceed. Please pray that her port can be salvaged without surgery as it would be very risky for her at this point. Kecia has alot of respect for her doctor and feels secure in the relationship they have established. He is good about listening to her and seems to be very honest with her. We prayed from the begin ning that Kecia would be placed in the hands of good doctors and we are so thankful that she was led to him. (His name is Dr. Wazenski- but I don't know how to spell it) She absolutely loves his nursing staff at the infusion center and I think she gets special treatment from all of them. They call her "the baby" because she is the only one in there younger than 40. She is a good patient. She is tough and brave and rarely complains. But the thoughts and feelings going on inside her are usually not the same. I know when I send these emails out that alot of you send one back telling me what your prayer is for Kecia. It would be so great if you have a specific prayer for Kecia that you enter it under the "comments" section of this blog and let her know. I just think that if she knows some one is specifically praying for her strength or that she will h ave peace, then she will naturally be more strong and be able to claim the peace that God has set aside just for her. You all have so many wonderful and uplifting things to share from your own personal experiences and she can't possibly get enough. Thank you all for the role that you are playing in Kecia's recovery.

Praying for her full recovery,
Jennifer and family

Update on the family

Dear Prayer Warriors,

Our family is in a very difficult time right now. In addition to the already stated, the situation with my brother (Kecia's uncle) is only getting worse. He has acute pancreatitis. We now understand that if he does not quit drinking alcohol completely he will die. Based on the severity of his symptoms we are led to believe that it would be sometime in the near future. He has lost so much weight, can not eat or drink anything with out throwing up, is often delirious and in a lot of pain. He checked himself out of the critical care unit yesterday morning against medical advice and was back in the hospital last night. Due to the poisons in his body he is often in an altered mental state and making irrational decisions. He lives with my sister and Kecia so all of this is directly affecting both of them. Kecia does not need this kind of stress but it seems unavoidable. Right now he is playing a cat and mouse game with death...in the hospital to stabilize his condition, then out to drink himself into a state of drunkeness that will dull his pain...then back to the hospital and so on. It's difficult to even know how to pray for him. We would love see him make a complete rededication of his life to the Lord and in doing so completely stop drinking. We desperately want him to recover but there is no way that can happen unless he is totally committed to the recovery process. He has tried in the past, but he wants it to be easy and when it's not, he just quits trying. We don't want him to suffer, and Kecia worries that he will collapse someone and die alone and frightened. This is a HUGE burden on her heart. I don't even know what to ask you to pray for other than that God's hand be on our family during this difficult time.

I am reminded of the passage Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified;do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Thank you for your prayers,
Jennifer and family

Chapter 3 - Getting the Full Picture

It would be just a few days later that we learned the full extent to which Cancer had
spread through Kecia’s body. Her right breast was almost 70% tumor. Not the solid lump kind that is more easily operable, but the inflammatory kind that spreads like wildfire and is easily “disrupted” during surgery causing it to spread more. Doctors would not be able to remove it until they had shrunk it to a more manageable size. The one at the base of her spine…the one that alerted her to the problem in the first place…was actually inside her bone. It could be likened to straw with an inserted balloon. As the tumor (balloon) began to grow, the bone (straw) began to expand until it actually split in some places. The tumor had spread through the bone in one place and was actually eating away at her nerve. She reported that on a scale from 1-10, her pain level over the past month was usually a 9 or 10. The doctor reviewing her scans said he couldn’t believe Kecia had walked herself into the office. The pain she must have been in was indescribable, yet she had continued to work her full time job and two part time ones with very little complaint. Just a few weeks before, we had painted our new counseling office and moved in all of the furniture. A few times during that weekend she had needed to stop for a short break due to back pain, but she gave no indication that she suffered from the excruciating pain that can only come from having your insides eaten away by some cancerous predator. Her determination and strength still amazes me. She is one of the strongest people that I have ever met. There were at least 3 other spots dotted along her spinal cord, a few on her rib cage, one in her hip bone, and one in the lymph node under her arm. It was hard to imagine where one would even begin to treat her. The doctors agreed that using radiation to shrink the one expanding her bone, and causing so much pain in her back needed to be the first focus.

And so it began. Kecia would drive (or be driven) to the Cancer Treatment Center every day for 5 weeks. Each day they would take new scans which acted like a map of her body to ensure that the tumor was hit in the precisely desired location. Each day she would lay perfectly still while the poison worked its magic on her body and each day she prayed that this was more than just a futile attempt at buying her time until she was ready to accept the inevitable. Each day the members of Kecia’s prayer chain grew until it reached nearly a thousand at last estimate. And the letters, cards and emails of support poured in. How then was it possible that as she lay on that table, with time to do nothing but think, did she feel so alone? Was it because none of these people could truly understand what it means to stare death in the face? Was it because each of them, at the end of the day, got to go home to their families and feel safe, healthy and blessed? Or was it because she suspected that most of them believed they already knew what the outcome of treatment would be? We can’t know for sure because Kecia didn’t really talk about it. She insisted on staying strong for her parents and putting on a front that implied she knew she would get better. I talked to a friend of mine that was a nurse. She informed me that radiation and chemo are so hard on the body that given the location of Kecia’s tumors, we would be lucky if Kecia even made it 6 months. While I know it was intended to “prepare” me, I chose not to accept that. And I certainly didn’t pass that information on to Kecia. We were fighting Cancer, not accepting it! She needed to hear the possibilities not the statistics. She would NOT be a statistic. She would be the exception! And so, day after day as the medical team lifted Kecia’s body up on the radiation table, one thousand prayer warriors lifted up her request for complete healing to the Lord!

First (and probably only) post by Lacey

Hello! Lacey here. First of all, THANK YOU for reading. I am a friend of Kecia's and I managing the technical attributes only of this new blog. I cannot take any credit for any of the beautiful writing – that’s all Jennifer. Some blog “business” follows …

I would LOVE to get any feedback you have about the blog! You can email me at laceyedmondson@yahoo.com. I will be adding things here and there as the blog progresses. Please always let me know your likes/dislikes! If there is anything you would like to see on here that is not already on here, please let me know.

Having said that, you will notice that I have changed the look a little bit, to make it easier on the eyes, thanks to a reader’s suggestion. Also recently added is a “Chip In” account. Some of you have asked for a good way to donate funds for Kecia’s growing medical costs. This is a completely secure way to give to Kecia. Every cent goes directly to her bank account on the last day of every month, and any little bit helps! You can imagine the doctor bills that are piling up… She appreciates beyond measure any and all donations, however big or small. If you need technical help with ChipIn, I'm your gal - just shoot me an email.

Please, Please, Please, spread the word about this blog. Pass it on to your friends, family, co-workers and churches. We need lots of prayer warriors!!! If you and/or your church are currently praying for Kecia, please let us know. We are compiling a list for her to let her know how many of us are praying for her. Just send an email to jjsnyder03@aol.com, or leave a comment saying you are praying for Kecia.

Lastly, please LEAVE COMMENTS in the comments section below each post! Kecia reads them. Your support is so valuable to her!

Thanks so much for joining us on this journey.

Kecia's big escape!

Kecia has been sprung!!! She escaped from the hospital around 3pm today. Okay, I said that to be funny, but seriously, she actually felt like she was in danger under the care of the doctor who was overseeing her. Long story short...He really wanted to do surgery on her even though it is very dangerous for her to "go under the knife" right now. She kept talking with HER doctor who kept saying DO NOT DO THE SURGERY! He even went to the hospital and had a "discussion" with the attending physicians. They thought it was all worked out and then she found out that the attending was actually giving her false information in an effort to get her to change her mind. When she called him on it, he actually told her that if she wasn't going to do the surgery then there was no reason for her to stay. Happily, she asked to be discharged and after her doctor called up to order her discharge, they kept her waiting by saying "we have to wait for the signatures of 3 other doctors before you can go." When she finally got out, she went across the street to the Cancer Center where they checked out her port and even accessed it (inserted her needles) with no problem at all. They said it looks good. Still needs to be on antibiotics so she will go to the infusion center tomorrow and see her doctor. If it all still looks good, they will send her home with iv's that she can do herself over the weekend.

Praying for a complete recovery,
Jen and family

News on Kecia

Hello all,
I know most of you are anxiously awaiting some news on Kecia and I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to get back in touch. To add to the drama, my brother (Kecia's uncle) was taken by ambulance to the hospital yesterday after he collapsed at a friend's house. He has been in the critical care unit, but since he was unconscious and couldn't give consent, noone would really tell us anything. It was pretty hectic but all is sorted out now. He has pancreitice (sorry about the spelling) and will be there for several days at least. He should be okay though.
Ok, back to Kecia. Her doctor finally got back in town and went to see her around 6pm today. He looked at her port which is doing great now, and was furious that the other doctors kept insisting that she remove it. Surgery would be very dangerous for her now and the risk of her dying due to surgical complications and her low immune system would be great. He assured her that not only did she do the right thing by standing her ground, but that he would definitely speak to the others about the incident. She will have to stay on IV antibiotics for another day or so and then should be able to get what she needs as an out patient at her regular infusion sessions. She still goes there daily and can get what she needs from them.
Physically Kecia is feeling pretty good since she hasn't had chemo in awhile. We are hoping that she will get out in time to have a few days "off" before going in for another round of chemo. It's time for her to have a few good days and do something other than be sick just to get her spirits back up. Thank you all for your continued prayers. We are so blessed to have you as a part of our lives.
Looking for a miracle,
Jennifer