10-06-09 I went with Kecia to her appointments yesterday and it broke my heart to see what she goes through just to make sure that she wakes up to another day. Before her body can be pushed back into the machine that shoots radiation to the cancer site, her head must first be positioned exactly right. From her chest up she is strapped down on the table. Her shoulders are secured tightly so that she can't move even a fraction of an inch. A large mask (I will call it for lack of a better word) that is as deep as her head is strapped tightly over her face and then secured to the table. It only takes about 15-20 minutes to complete the actual radiation, but it ends each day with Kecia in a full blown panic attack. She can hardly breath, and she is helpless to move to a position that would allow her to take deeper breaths. They administered a medication to help with anxiety, but she is shaking and dripping with sweat when they are done. The tech said that it is so tramatic that children are automatically put under for the daily procedure. It broke my heart to see her so exhausted and terrified!
The radiologist reported that there were no other cancer tumors in her body. Praise God! They did blood work to determine if there is estrogen still being produced inspite of her "menapause shot". If there is, that will explain how the ones in her brain were able to grow. Also, they definatly want to switch her to a different chemo since it did not stop the growth. If there is estrogen in her body she will have to get an ovarectomy (remove the ovaries), but Kecia has decided that regardless of the results she wants them removed. In fact, she would like a complete hysterectomy unless there is a good medical reason why she should keep the uterus. She meets with the GYN-oncologist next week to discuss and schedule that surgery.
She has also decided to go forward with the Trial Study if she is accepted. They said they will not take her is she is using the menapause shot, but they will if she has her ovaries removed. She is applying for the study now but will not know until a few days before if she is actually qualified. There are alot of things that can happen at the last minute that could disqualify her. (low blood counts, hospitalization, sickness)
You may be thinking "well, Kecia has definatly decided to continue with treatment" and physically she has, but emotionally she is not committed to her recovery. She is in a serious state of depression. When given "good" news, it's as if it doesn't really register to her. I believe she is in constant fear and it is consuming her. Please pray for Kecia's emotional and spiritual peace and resolve. I am praying that God will help Kecia find the inner strength and fight that she is known for. I am praying that He will surround her with His presence and pour peace all around her.